Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.
(Jeremiah 1:5, New King James Version)
Single and twenty-three, I was devastated by the news that I was pregnant. Though a “good Christian girl” for most of my life, I became sexually active after finishing college. Then one week my long-term boyfriend, who was away in the military, surprised me with a visit. I was unprepared. With future hopes and dreams shattered by an unwanted pregnancy, my life as I knew it was over. But that wasn’t all I was facing. In the church, where I was raised, getting pregnant before marriage was not something a good Christian girl did. The shame and fear that flooded my being threatened to overwhelm me. How would I tell my parents?
Fully aware of the sanctity of life, I knew that abortion was wrong. But as I faced the crippling shame of people discovering what I had done, it seemed like the lesser of two evils. Deliberately turning my back on everything I knew, I made the decision to abort. Young and naïve, I had no idea how to go about getting an abortion. I turned to the yellow pages of the phone book for answers and saw an entry for a crisis pregnancy clinic. “Crisis” fit my mindset perfectly, so I made the call and scheduled an appointment.
The day arrived, and a friend dropped me off. Bracing myself, I entered the clinic door, unsure of what I would face. A counsellor greeted me warmly. After a brief session where I shared that I was looking for abortion information, she escorted me to a small, comfortable room to watch a short film. The film began, and image after image of a tiny developing baby flashed before my eyes. Face to face with the very truth I had tried to escape, I could no longer deny that there was indeed a tiny life inside me. As I watched, I grew more and more convinced that I couldn’t go through with my decision.
Afterwards, my counsellor sat with me. The tears flowed freely as I poured out my heart to her, sharing my secret disgrace and fears about the future. She listened quietly, making a comment here or there. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I do remember one thing: her compassion.
I believe the Lord ordered my steps that day in 1986. When I think back on it, it’s ironic that of all the places I could have gone for abortion information, I ended up in one of the few places that affirm the sanctity of life. The truth and godly compassion I received empowered me to choose life in the face of an uncertain future. And today I have a son who is walking with the Lord and pursuing his God-ordained destiny. I am so thankful.
For more on the sanctity of life, you can check out Andrew’s teaching Christian Philosophy.
